21st June, 2007. 3:16 am.
so i'm sitting in a hallway of a local venue and there is gunfire going off in the next room. there is a table of snacks to my right and a row of coolers to my left. people are walking by on walkies. rushing, and talking loudly. no this is not a hold up. this is the making of EyeBorgs. a futuristic feature that i'm working on. how entertaining. we are shooting 4pm to 4 am today. for no real reason. we shoot tom from 6 to 6 pm to am again. its been a fun shoot i know most of the crew. yay. i work with a spiky bearded man named joe. he also sports a curly mustash.
9th November, 2006. 8:30 pm.
its been so so so long since i've had hope for things getting better as opposed to worse. democrats have both the Senate, and the House. and icing on the cake. Rumsfield has resigned. i could cry with joy. ah well farwell low gas prices the elections over bush can let go his grip on gas company balls.it's worth it. happy happy happy. and omg us louisvillian's got rid of evil bitch Ann Northrup. oh joyous day. yeah for YARMUTH! *leaps*
Current mood: accomplished.
1st November, 2006. 12:27 am.
so what's the most ironic thing you can be told about your health on halloween? think candy
that you have diabetes.
hey everyone. it sucks to have two bad posts in a row. but i got some really bad news today. i've been told i have type 2 diabetes, or at least diabetic tendancies. it just developed and we found it because i have terrible rash that wont go away. the rash should be easy to get rid of, but its been months and lots different treatments, nothing has worked. so they figured something was making it harder to get rid of. They did tests. according to some research a sign of diabetes is a fungel rash that is "persistant" oh joy. so yeah i had a blood sugar level of 160. normal is 110. so that sucks. it was really shocking. i still dont comprehend it. we have to do more testing but, the doctor was pretty sure.
for anyone who doesnt know my eating habits. sugar is not just something i like, i need it, its something i live for. so thats blow number one.
i cant smoke anymore. one of my favorite things. :(
i have to eat healthy. not so bad but damn it, i love food, i'm fine with my body image, i dont want to diet and be a twig. (i'm being silly this is a pro not a con, i do need to eat healthy and excercise it will make me feel better)
the scary stuff is what can happen to me. i can loose feeling in my extremities. and in a worse case senario, i can even loose fingers, arms, legs, toes, and all that jazz. this is my worst nightmare, being an artist i have to be able to use my hands
its always been a secret fear of mine to get diabetes, and something i just know would happen. i also have a strange fear of dieing young in a car accident. i think thats because of something that happend in the past.
i couldnt go trick or treating. :(
i hate getting my finger pricked.
whine whine whine
but anyways yeah for getting diabetes on halloween. yeah!
so yeah im sorry but i needed to vent
Current mood: morose.
25th September, 2006. 4:05 pm.
part of me feels awfully terrible about bitching, but i'm feeling this heavy guilt ride on me and its driving me down. which isnt good, i figure getting it out may help. anyways new school, blah blah blah. i really am having a great time. metting new and awesome people. classes are really great and i'm eager to go and learn. seriously. that doesnt happen often. so thats wonderful. but for a bunch of very strange and everyday occurances, to happen in just the first few weeks. the first film meeting we had was for the whole freshmen film class and i was late for it. dont remember why really. i think it was because we were getting our hot water heater replaced. no hot water for the first four days. anyways jones, this supposed tough ass of the teachers really picked on me, oh no! i remember i had a stomachache. anyways after the meeting and lots of public humiliation, i talk to him, and appologize profusly and explain why i was late. he understood and told me not to worry. good came from all that because he got to know who i was immediatly. i'm on his good side. so that is fantasitic. a week or so later i have my second femminist class. i love this class dearly. but for some reason my phone alarm didnt save the night before when i set it so it went off at 9:30 as aposed to 7:30 like it as supposed to. i missed that class which wasnt really a problem, for one we are allowed to miss two elective classes. and two supposedly like no one showed up for class because of confussion over location or something. so she excused everyone from that day. but today is what really kills me. i had my second directing class. i was all about going. but for some reason even after going over my schedual with my mom last night, i had it in my head that it was at 2 pm. which make scence as all my film classes start in the afternoon. but anyways i'm bumming about my room at about 11:45 getting ready. i just happen to check the schedual. low and behold class is at 10;30. FUCK! so i go to class looking as shity as i can, and explain that i was throwing up all morning. i was feeling pretty off all weekend so its possible. but anyways at break i talk to the teacher and apologise. he starts talking about the industry and how you have to be reliable and such. i completly understand that. but then he said i'm delveloping a reputaion for being late. that just killied me. i dont want this whole new experiance to get started so poorly. i also feel that it is kind of unfair that becasue of two incedints one of them not even a real class, i've been labled. the elective doesnt count becasue the film department has nothing to do with electives and there is no way he would have known about that. it just hurts, to be judged i guess. there are a bunch of other things that have gone wrong too. its not like i'm not focusing on school, too much parting or anything... i dont know, karma or something is against me. and i dont see why. its all making me feel like i'm falling behind already. and that is such a scary feeling. i know i'm more or less acually doing very well staying on top of everything. i'm balancing social and practicle life with schooling well. my room is clean my house well stocked and comfortable. i have a romance of sorts with a nice guy that is a modern dancer. my roomates are fucking awesome. i have very little to complain about. thats why i feel bad bitching. but it does feel good to write about it. sometimes i catch my self feeling hopeless for no reason. like i have no one to talk to and that things are falling apart. i know how to deal with these feeling and hate talking about them because i feel ungreatful for everythign that is going wonderfuly. but the feelings still do come and make me feel so fucked. i know i just need to look at the problems see what i can do thats logical that will solve the problem. for example because my phine didnt go off, i now have one of my roomates make sure i'm up on the days i have to be. i dont know a solution to stupid overlooks and forgetfulness. i already make lists and check things constantly. well i'm feeling a bit better now. thats good. time to read! oh yippy homework homework homework.
Current mood: frustrated.
15th September, 2006. 12:38 am.
this is the music video of the film i worked on. its just everyone behind the scenes dancin and shite. total fun
i'll update soon. school is fucking awesome i love it sooo much
Current mood: giggly.
1st September, 2006. 1:19 am.
wow its been a while. we wrapped on the film i was working on. it was amazing. i have yet another family. i miss them all so much already. we all bonded so quickly, i could just go on and on about it all. its really going to be a good film i hope. i have hundreds of pictures on my facebook if anyone wants to see behind the scenes and all. i'm leaving for north carolina in 7 days. i'm sorta sad and nervous, but excited all at once. i'm still worried about the school and how i'm going to fit in as a junior year freshmen. and i worry about the people at the school. are they all going to be ballerina's and opera divas? oh and did i mention half the school is a high school? oh and its a small town. in the south... part of me want to skip it all and just go to LA. but this will be a good experiance and i will hopefully learn alot of new skills. and make new contacts. it will be fine.
i hope everyone else is doing Fantastic! have a peaceful day, and enjoy something sweet
Current mood: anxious.
28th July, 2006. 12:04 am.
THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP!
i am working on a Film that is being shot here in Louisville Ky. its called My True Self. i am head of the art department, Prop Master, and set dresser. for those of you who dont speak film lingo, thats means: fuck load of work. :) i have to come up with, i'm gonna gestimate, 70 props. i have to dress the sets, which means finding things that make it look more like we want, moving things around (furniture, pictures on the wall, stuff like that). this last part is a problem because i have to be on set everyday. now how do i go about making and collecting props, being on top of everything, and dressing sets at the same time? I DONT KNOW~! if anyone is available to even just drive around and pick some things up for me, it would be a free pass to heaven. ;) or happiness to know youve done something kind. Dori, if you are reading this... OH DEAR PROP MONKEY! please help! does anyone know how to contact her?
What i really need is an assistant.
its unpaid, but you get your name in the credits! ooooh fun fun. and you get to be involved in a real feature length film. oooh how ef'in cool is that?
if you can't do you know any one who can?
anyways thanks you guys
i'm kinda starting to drown here
Current mood: worried.
27th July, 2006. 5:29 pm.
i think in some past life i died tradgicaly when i was young, in the teens. and it was devistating for my parents.
i dont think i really even believe in past lives. but i feel like something must be there like that. its always a strange feeling.
Current mood: indescribable.
26th July, 2006. 1:25 pm. painted WHORE!
sorry for the rant feel free to skip
well i just got out of the light touch spa. louisvilles best day spa. rediculously posh. i got a gift card there for my birthday for a make-up consultation. I LOVE makeup. i love to learn about it and find new and fun things i can do. so i do these types of things alot. some are horrendous, some i learn from. the best one i ever had was impromtu. i went into an aveda just to look. and happened to ask about makeup. the girl showed me the most amazing purple and silver. completly new colors for me and an AWESOME way to wear it. i wore that look for months and still got crazy compliments. i think its interesting that some places you know what your going to look like if you just look at the person who is doing your makeup. some places your lucky and they do what will look good on you, not them. one time at the clinique counter i swear the girl... well lets just say i walked directly to the mirror and evened out the "eye liner" she put on me. it was in patches. and up on my eye lid. she thought it was a good job. oh and my lipstick was all over my chin. wow. talent. anyways. i go in today, thinking this is gonna be great i'm gonna tell her exactly what i want, what i dont want and what i'd like to learn. she was one of those women who draws on her eyebrows and outlines everything. i thought to myself surely no... oh but YES! i came out of there embarassed and as soon as i got in my car i screamed the only thing that came to mind.... PAINTED WHORE~ the eyeshadow is dark and heavy my eyes are outlined, which is a huge no-no for me because i have small squinty eyes. i have two obvious white patches on top of my lid. the foundation, while being wonderful mineral stuff was CAKED on. and oh my god the blush. i had two brownish patches galumped un my face. ok so all that, wasnt the so bad. i can wipe off the blush and most foundation. AHHHH its even in my ears! but seriously dark overpowering eyeshadow like she put on was oh, 10 years out of style. its from the 90's . but the best part was my lipstick. the crowning jewel in her achivement... DARK almost black purple. with shimery nude ontop. i was eating lipstick for an hour it was so thick. now the only other time i've seen this look for lipstick was when i was little (meaning mid 90's) and i was at glamor shots. for Cassie Fingers birthday party. i think it looked better that time though. i mean COME ON! heh heh so thats my trip to the light touch.
Current mood: anxious.